"When the illusion of control disappears we become men and women of prayer" - tweeted by Matt Chandler

I like to feel like I’m in control. If I stop think about "being in control" I realize how absurd that is. Unfortunately, my life all to often reflects what I like rather than what is real. This illusion of control points to another obstacle to prayer: pride.

Pride gets in the way of my prayer by whispering that I can handle it, so I don’t need God. Now I would never say aloud that I don’t need God. In fact, I often state that I exist only by the sustaining work of Christ- which is true. Sadly, I too often live as though I could get along without Him.

In my pride, I like to think that I can use knowledge and wisdom to make good choices without consulting God. What seems right isn’t always right. I am reminded of the Israelites and the Gibeonites in Joshua 9. The leaders of Israel (including Joshua!) looked at the evidence and made what they thought was a wise decision, but verse 14 says they "did not ask counsel from the LORD." If Joshua was deceived, why do I think that I can make better decisions? I am not omniscient, so I can’t see all the relevant information for choices. God is omniscient.

In my pride, I like to think that my strength is sufficient for the tasks at hand. I enjoy using my physical strength. I like lifting weights. I feel good after shoveling a driveway for someone else or moving heavy objects. In spite of this, I am becoming more and more aware that my own strength is not enough. The pain in my knee makes what is an enjoyable walk some days miserable on others. Many days, I feel weary. I sleep poorly more often than I sleep well. Yet, my stupid pride means I turn to God last. I turn to food and ice instead of the One who made me. I love 2 Samuel 22; when I used to run I would meditate on it, especially verse 30 "For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall." I need to think about that more often these days- that it is by God’s strength not my own that I can accomplish the tasks at hand.

Pride interferes with confession; I don’t want to admit that I do things that are wrong. It interferes with adoration; seeing how great God is shows me how much I am not Great. It interferes with thanksgiving; giving thanks requires acknowledging help. Pride interferes with supplication; I have to admit that I need God in order to ask Him to move.

As I type this, I despise my pride and want to kill it. Yet, I realize that I don’t have it in me to kill my own pride. Yes, I will fight it, but it must be God who does the defeating.

Pastor John retweeted the tweet I quoted at the beginning and added "So let’s not wait." I want to echo that. Let us not wait for disaster to strike before we realize that we can’t handle life, let us go to God in prayer now.