Warning, this will be a really long post. It is somewhat scattered too. If you can follow my train of thought, I applaud you.

Lately, there has been quite a bit of talk about baptism and church membership. This morning I read an article on the Desiring God blog. I really appreciate this article- because I can relate to the fact that requiring a specific form of baptism for church membership can be painful.

I grew up in a church that practiced and taught paedobaptism. My sophomore year in high school, I was "confirmed" in this church. At the time, I was convinced that infant baptism was not "as Biblical" as baptism of believers, so I looked at what baptism was for - identifying with Christ’s death & resurrection and making a public declaration of faith. I thought that my confirmation could serve these purposes. Spring of my freshman year of college, I became convicted that baptism was about obedience, and I couldn’t obey Christ on my own terms, it had to be on His. Confirmation could not replace baptism. I was convinced that my infant baptism was not a baptism at all. So I was baptized on July 4th, 2004. It took so long because of Cornerstone’s baptism schedule and my surgery.

So, that doesn’t sound overly painful, but that isn’t the whole story. You see, when I was still in high school, the issue did create pain in my life. When I was in high school, I seriously questioned what was going on in my denomination. I knew I disagreed with it on many issues: baptism, predestination, women as pastors, etc. Freshman year, my uncle committed suicide. He was a pastor in this denomination and had recently served on the bishop’s council. I began to suspect that something was seriously wrong. Then my sophomore year, in the middle of my confirmation process, there was a sexual harassment suit filed against my pastor, church, and the Iowa general conference, by the (now former) church secretary. Well, in the next few months, I learned that the denomination was supporting abortion. There was even a chaplain for Planned Parenthood from our denomonation. We also had a new pastor, who taught a bunch of mush. A typical sermon felt like it was based on a movie clip and supported with some verses taken out of context from a paraphrase. I know he probably read the verses and then found the movie clip, but that isn’t how it felt. This pastor even personally suggested to me that I consider becoming a pastor.

I felt like it was time to find a new church. I did not take this lightly. When my family moved to town, we went to one church in the denomination, but when I was about five, we switched to another. I remember constantly saying as we drove by "there’s our old church." This second church is where I surrendered my life to Christ. Later in elementary school, we moved back to our former church, and I didn’t adjust well. Not to make light of divorce, but leaving the church to go back to another felt like what I would imagine divorce feels like. I felt like I was being ripped away from part of my family over a trivial matter. There was even a point in time where I would make myself throw up on Sunday mornings so I could stay home from church. My parents were into a goal and rewards system, so I would make goals to be able to visit our old (2nd) church- nothing had better results on my running times. I eventually adjusted. When I decided I really wanted to go to a different church, it meant an awful lot to me.

So, I talked to my dad. I presented my case as to why I felt we needed to change churches, and asked what he would think. He asked what churches I was considering. I mentioned one that a close friend went to. He objected because of baptism. He was baptized as an infant, and felt that baptism was valid. He would not be baptized again. He assumed that the other church would not allow him to be a member based on that. That was his objection to all the churches in town I knew much about. I asked if I could go to another church by myself, and the answer was "no, we go to church as a family."

So we stayed. And for a few years I felt torn between giving to the church and grieving about what the church was doing with the money given. I felt torn between wanting to serve the church, and not wanting to communicate my support for what was going on. There was a lot of conflict on this issue between my parents and I. I wanted to honor my parents, but I didn’t know how to reconcile that with the desire to go to a church that taught truth and practiced it. I also grieved the lack of unity within the church.

I do not consider the baptism issue to be the only thing that caused pain. However, if it hadn’t been for that issue, might my family have gone to a church that taught scripture? Would I be less concerned about my family? Perhaps, but I’ll never know.

On a positive note, God definitely used that situation to glorify himself. Because of it, I appreciated Cornerstone all the more, and I appreciate Bethlehem more for it as well. I realized how important the local church is to God, and as a result it has become more important to me. It challenged me to dig deeper into scripture myself and sift what I hear more thoroughly. I have more joy in giving now than I think I would if giving had been easy when I first started making money.

Well, you made it to the end. Congratulations, now leave a comment.